在中國留面子 (Getting and Saving Face in China)

美國《紐約時報》
原題：在中國留面子

　　智威湯遜廣告公司的湯姆·多克托羅夫說，要在中國做生意，“尊重別人的感受至關重要。這關系到大家的‘面子’”。

　　他說：“面子是個老掉牙的詞兒，但它確實是拓展業務的敲門磚。它就像是個社交銀行賬戶。你要消費，要儲蓄，還要投資。如果你讓別人丟面子，就會使他喪失最基本的安全感。”

　　多克托羅夫說，在會議上，“如果你使別人覺得他們的回答是錯誤或愚蠢的，那就會讓他們丟面子。不管大家說什么，不管是創新理念還是戰略構想，你都得認真聽取，從中找出可取的內容。通常說來，總會有點有用的東西。

　　“如果在座的人都發出嘲諷的笑聲，那就糟了。當事人會因此而記恨你。”

　　“親和中國”公司首席執行官克里斯蒂娜·陸說：“如果你知道和中國人打交道都關系到面子———給面子，掙面子，留面子和不讓別人丟面子———那你就算是準備充分了。”

　　康-李廣告公司的索爾·吉特林說，在與西方人打交道時，中國人之所以如此在意面子，是有其歷史原因的，“因為中國在歷史上遭到過別國的侵略。這些國家把中國變成殖民地，或者出于商業目的在中國展開大肆掠奪，中國人不想讓外界覺得西方商人‘占了上風’”。

　　他解釋說：“這聽起來像是一種本能，但其實與中國近200年來的歷史密切相關。”如今，人們強烈感到中國絕對不能再淪落到封建時期和帝國主義時期的低下地位。因此，“西方商人有必要拿出尊重的態度來”。

Getting and Saving Face in China

Joanne Chou

Giving and saving face is a hidden rule of all Chinese societies, guiding almost every behavior. People who have been raised in Chinese, or more precisely, Confucius, culture or those who have a more intimate understanding of Chinese social interactions have to always bear this in mind.

Critics see face in negative ways, saying that it prevents people from expressing what they truly think. The criticism is understandable; however, one should know that if people gain nothing from face saving activities, the custom would have no grounds to exist.

When getting face, often a saving of face takes place simultaneously.

Take a funeral ceremony for example. People often spend a fortune to arrange their family members' funeral ceremonies. By doing so, they tell "others" who they are and where they rank in the society. Ceremonies are rarely just personal matters in Chinese societies, including overseas ones.

This is why many bereaved families in Taiwan often ask for funeral scrolls from famous people, especially prominent politicians and entrepreneurs. These scrolls play a symbolic role for the bereaved, demonstrating how much social capital they possess.

Politicians who bestow funeral scrolls often do not know the bereaved at all and have to spend a great deal of money every month creating the scrolls. Even so, they won't turn down the requests because they know well that those requests mean that the bereaved see them as prominent and influential enough to be worthy of asking for their scrolls. People are "giving face" to you if you are asked to send a scroll.

When someone gives you face, it is very important to give theirs in return, and this is saving others' faces. So, for example, even though each legislator averagely has to spend hundreds of thousands every month for all kinds of scrolls, they persist in doing it, since sending scrolls could help them win favors from people.

Both politicians and the bereaved receive intangible benefits from sending and receiving scrolls, and this is the reasons why environmentalists who appeal the public not to waste money and resources in producing scrolls are failing to change the custom.

While all Chinese societies are fastidious about face, there are still slight differences among them. For example, compared to Taiwan, people in China attach much greater value to hosting extravagant banquets with delicate and excessive amounts of food and drink to provide to their guests or even rivals, displaying their abilities or competitiveness. In this term, people in China tend to be more severe in saving face.

Under the same logic, when one is invited to meet someone prominent or attend a banquet, they are given face by the hosts. Of course, the invited should return face by attending the banquets, especially when the invitations are formal ones.

The most telling example of this was when Taiwan officials competed for the time and attention of Chen Yunlin, the Chairman of China's Association for Relations Across the Taiwan Strait, when he first visited Taiwan in 2008.

During Chen's historic short visit, he had a packed schedule each day with breakfast, lunch, dinner, and late night snacks all hosted by various prominent figures in Taiwan. Except for the different hosts, the Taiwanese guests invited to the banquets were mostly the same.

Saving face is a way to make interpersonal relationships look smooth above the table, which could allow a further interaction to take place in the future.

Tom Doctoroff of J. Walter Thompson advertising made a bank savings metaphor to explain the dynamic relationship between giving and saving face. "Face, a cliche, but it's so true, is the currency of advancement," he said.

"It's like a social bank account. You spend it and you save it and you invest. When you take away somebody's face you take away someone's fundamental sense of security," Doctoroff said, in a report to the New York Times.

People build their sense of security by giving, getting and saving face, since by doing so they measure their social status and know where they stand in society.

When it comes to Westerners, there is a historic aspect to the Chinese concern about face, said Saul Gitlin of Kang & Lee Advertising.

"Because of China's history of exploitation by foreign countries who colonized China or raided China for business purposes, particularly in the business sphere...it is related to the very recent 200-year history in China, up through the middle part of last century, when Western businesspeople clearly had the upper hand commercially and politically in China," he explained.

Western people who run business in China would have a more smooth relationships with the Chinese if they are familiar with the cuture of face.